Dreaming of the Days

If you haven't already guessed, my life is a total whirlwind of activites. I LOVE having so much to do.

I love that my husband doesn't want to sit around on Saturday afternoon flipping through the channels.

I love that our boys are always adventurous and outdoors whenever humanly possible.

But…

There are days when all I want to do is come home, pour a big glass of wine, run a piping hot bath and just melt away.

There are days that I just don't think I can listen to another argument between a 12-year-old and a 3-year-old.

There are days that I think to myself, "If Grady has one more meeting or one more rodeo in the next two weeks I'm going to pull all of my hair out!!!"

There are days when I just don't think I can bring myself to make one more original meal.

There are days when I come home from work and I just want to shut myself in my room and lock the door.

There are days that the dust and gunk have accumulated so high that I fear there is no way I can dig out from underneath.

There are moments when I wonder, "What the heck has my life become?!"

Then…

I remember the days when I had nothing to look forward to in the evening.

I remember the days when the only thing I lived for was my work.

I remember the endless disasterous dates I went on trying to find my Prince Charming.

I remember not wanting to cook because what's the point of cooking for one.

I remember not being able to imagine myself as a parent.

AND THEN…

I look at my son and see this…

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Who could possibly live without this?

I think, how could I ever give up hearing Cade say, "Lish, that was awesome. Will you make it again?" (This is from our kiddo who wouldn't eat hardly anything when Grady and I met.)

I can't imagine not having the love and devotion my husband gives me?

I can't remember what it was like NOT to be called "Mommy".

I can't imagine not hearing Tucker's little voice telling how much he loves me.

I can't imagine not having the friends I've made through Grady's rodeos.

I can't imagine not watching my husband doing thing…

7-4-09 037

(I don't care who you are… he's HOT!)

I can't imagine my life without my in-laws. 

AND… with all of this realization.

 I know that in all of the craziness of our lives I find peace in the insanity.

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