Do you recall the other day when I wrote about my values? There were two key parts that I talked about that were made even more relevant yesterday, a dark, dark moment in my otherwise cheery life.
As you will probably remember I spoke about how much I valued my husband because he loves me even when I don't deserve it. I also mentioned the value of my dear, sweet friends who just let me be me even if that version of me may occassionally be slightly oversensitive and/or neurotic.
I came home last night in my usual fashion, geared up to come up with something for supper, anything. It's been a paticularly exhausting week. We've had a lot on our plates and it continues through the end of the week. So, in my fatigued state of mind I couldn't think of anything original and/or healthy for supper. I was at a loss.
I hate making unnecessary trips to the store for minor things. I'd rather stick with what I've got. So, with that in mind I thought chili would be a suitable meal. Tucker had been begging for cornbread and I knew chili would be a great accompaniment.
I started browning my meat and adding all the pertinent ingredients. I was down to the spices. I always keep chili powder, cumin and garlic powder on hand. They are the staples in my everyday cooking. So, I reached for the cumin and I had less than a teaspoon.
You simply CAN NOT have chili without cumin.
I turned the burner to low, loaded up Tucker and made a mad dash to the local grocery store which was closing in 20 minutes. (It takes me 10 minutes to get to town.)
In the midst of it all Grady calls. He starts rambling off other things he wants me to get. Random things, salad stuff. I'm getting irritated at this point because I just don't need the added pressure of getting other "stuff". I'm on a mission for cumin! AND I have food on the stove at home.
In my irritable state I hit the end button on my phone…. He calls back.
Now he's just annoying me because he doesn't realize how frustrated I'm getting. He wants to be funny. I hang up again.
I drag Tucker through the store. Grab the things I need in a crazed frenzy, pay and race home.
Pheeewwww! The chili is simmering nicely. No worries. I continue to finish and proceed to start Tucker's special cornbread.
Grady pulls in and I can tell he's in one of his ornery, joking moods. (I take mental note to steer clear.)
I have all the ingredients measured out for the cornbread and reach for the milk. I only have HALF of what I need!!!
"You have GOT to be kidding me!" I exclaim.
I couldn't just leave it. I had to finish it. My neighbors AND in-laws weren't home so I had too go back to town. This time it was the gas station bacause the store was closed.
Of course Grady is razzing me like no other for not realizing the milk issue while I was at the store earlier. So, in a fit of fury I make a mad dash to town…again.
While on my way to town I am perplexed by an incident that occurred earlier in the day. The longer I think on it the more out of sorts I become about this occurance. Thinking now that something is really wrong, I text my dear friend Abbey, to unload on her. I end my message with the phrase, "just had to get it off my chest". (Somewhere deep inside, my guts were telling me I was being just a titch irrational. Hence the ending of the text so that she doesn't have to write back with any sort of attempt at comforting thoughts for my otherwise lame message.)
Now, the gas station I went to usually has a supply of ridiculously priced gallons and half gallons of milk for emergencies such as mine. I looked through the selection and wouldn't you know it…every…single…one…outdated. O.M.G!!! I quickly look through the single servings, grab two, pay and run back to the car.
I'm sure all of you ladies can relate to the state of mind I have now put myself in. C-R-A-Z-Y!
I finish the cornbread, put it in the oven and decide that we are, by no means, waiting for the cornbread to finish baking. We are eating, now.
Continuing on his path of sure death by my hands, Grady continues to badger about the salad he wanted. With my jaw clenched, I inform him that there is a head of lettuce that he is more than welcome to cut up and eat. So, he does.
Tucker is now whining about not wanting to eat his supper. Something about too much cheese on his chili.
I can feel it all starting to unravel. I'm certain my head is going to explode at any second. I know that the slightest ill movement from anyone in the house is going to send me over the edge.
And then it happened…
"Why are we having chili when it's, like, 80 degrees outside?" Grady asks. (Mind you it was a chilly and cloudy 60 degrees all day.)
I got up, took my bowl to the kitchen and began to noisily clean like no other. My blood was boiling. Smoke plumed from my ears.
Grady had no idea what he had done, but I let him have it. No stone was left unturned. The slate was wiped clean. My chest was freed from any burdening, bothersome thoughts.
I'm fairly certain he got the point because he finished eating and quietly began cleaning up after himself. Mind you, I usually have to request help like this. He loaded his dishes in the dishwasher,wiped up his lettuce mess and helped Tucker finish his supper. He let me have some quiet time.
I simmered down and made the best of the rest of my night. I put myself to bed and slept all night.
I woke up this morning recalling the events of the night before.
"Holy cow," I thought to myself, "who WAS that crazy lady last night?"
Everything that had gone down the evening before seemed so petty and silly. What had gotten into me? This was NOT how I usually handle my funky situations. Any other night I would have laughed it off and made the best of it.
And then I began my daily routine. I soon discovered the cause for all of my oversensitve reactions and flip comments to Grady and Tucker. That darned Mother Nature had dropped off her luggage at my front steps and made her presence known!
As soon as my hiney hit the chair at the office I promptly sent apology emails to my husband and to Abbey, explaining my discovery.
So to my husband, and Abbey, I love you both. Thank you for putting up with my raging hormones last night. I know it wasn't pretty. You guys rock!
Peace, love and happy hormones.