Tucker is reaching the age at which he understands what naughty words are and that it’s very, very bad for little kids to say them.
I tend to be one of those overly paranoid parents who is constantly concerned her child is going to say something highly inappropriate, crass or downright bad. What can I say, I worry about these things.
Last night we invited my father-in-law and step-mother-in-law over for supper. We were enjoying a highly fattening meal of catfish, cream corn, and fried potatoes. As we were all finishing and licking the grease from our fingers I happened to look over at Tucker.
For whatever reason, he was raising his middle finger. I know he doesn’t know the durogatory meaning behind this gesture. I know this was purely innocent on his part.
That paranoid parent gene came screaming to the scene telling me, “Oh my gosh! What if he went to school and started pointing like that in front of Miss Alana or Miss Jan! They’d think we were horrible parents!”
That screaming voice told me I had to put that finger pointing to a hault.
I quiety told Tucker that he shouldn’t point with that finger because it was the naighty finger.
“Why’s it the naughty finger, Momma?”
(All eyes are on me. “Yeah, Alisha, why’s it the naughty finger?)
“Well, because it means a naughty word, Tucker.”
“What naughty word, Momma?”
Of course I can’t SAY the naughty word. He doesn’t even know what that naughty word means! He just knows that when he hears that word it’s a BAD word.
(My father-in-law is giving me that ornery look that says ‘how are you going to explain this one…’)
“Well, Tuck, when you point that finger at someone it’s like sign language for a
REALLY bad word.”
“WHAT WORD, MOMMA?”
“Yeah, Alisha, what word?”
“Tucker, I’m not telling you the word.”
“Well, what does it mean?”
“It’s so naughty I can’t even tell you.”
“Why, Mommy? Why does it mean a naughty word?”
“Just because it does, Tuck. Because when someone points that finger it’s telling you to do something very naughty.”
“Well, what about this finger (he points to his pointer finger)?”
“That one’s fine. It’s a good finger.”
“How about this one (pointing to his ring finger)?”
“That one’s a good finger, it’s not naughty.”
We went through every finger asking if it was naughty or nice. All the while my in-laws are doing the silent shoulder shaking uncontrollable laugh at my expense.
I think I successfully explained giving the bird. Now we’ll just hope he doesn’t get curious about the reaction of this finger action.
Peace, love and sign language.