Learning to Live Without

We're seven weeks into life with Miss Ella.

I've had one full week back to work.

While I'm THRILLED to be back to a routine it's all been a huge adjustment.

I am literally learning to live without…

…without sleep.  Constant exhaustion is the new norm.  I can't get enough coffee in the morning and am usually screaming for a caffeine fix by 2:30.

…without order.  I don't deal with chaos well.  I like a relatively tidy home.  I like the kitchen to be cleaned up after a meal.  I like toys and such to be put away or at least not strewn around the main quarters of the house.  I like to have a plan for meals.  I like to be somewhat caught up on laundry.  ALL of this has gone by the wayside since I started back to work.  Ella is at a stage that requires a lot of attention when we get home.  That doesn't work well when supper needs to be made, Tucker needs attention, the dogs need fed, and laundry needs started.  I am learning to let a few things go.

…without time for Grady and I.  This one is hard.  When it was just the boys and us we'd put them to bed and have at least an hour to chat, catch up and have a little romance when needed wanted.  Now… now, we take turns getting up with her every night which means whoever is on for the night goes to bed earlier while the other one gives the 9:00 or 10:00 bottle.  It means that we don't get that hour at night to be a couple and not just parents.  I miss that.  I know that this phase with Ella will be short, but in the meantime I can see it taking a toll on us.  Fuses run a little shorter.

…without the body I want.  I'm in that limbo phase between pregnant, huge misery and my pre- pregnant gettin' back in shape body.  I love that I can see my toes, nothing is swollen and I don't have to wear elastic waisted pants unless I'm in my yoga pants.  I don't like that I can fit into my regular jeans, but not without using a hair tie to help fasten them.  I hate the "doughy-ness" that is now my midsection.  I know, I know, patience…  I'm just ready to look like myself again.

What's the lesson here?

Well, life is all about constant change.

All of this will change.

But for now…

3-9-11 009 
…this is how I feel…


Peace, love and honesty.


2 thoughts on “Learning to Live Without

  1. I love Miss Ella’s look… It must be in the air. I don’t have your situation but have had a week like this, too. PATIENCE.

  2. Thanks for the DEEP thoughts and then the laughter you brought me with how you ended it! Ella looks adorable even with the sad with face. Even with her serious frown, she left me laughing out loud. I love it!

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