I’ve been at a real loss this week with what to talk about.
Everyone is talking about the tragedy in Newtown, CT. It’s the only thing anyone can seem to think about.
I don’t think there’s anything I could possibly say about it that hasn’t already been expressed in an eloquently beautiful way. Aside from that, I don’t think I can really wrap my head around all of it. I’m really speechless. Having a son who is the same age as the victims renders my soul paralyzed. Nothing makes sense. I can’t watch the coverage any more. I can’t read the articles about the babies. I can’t listen to songs dedicated to their lives. If I do, I’m a crumpled mess on the floor. I can’t keep myself composed. I can’t function.
Grady and I have talked at length about what happened and the possible reasons why. The thing that keeps coming back to me is that there is no answer that will ever justify the innocence that was stolen that day. There is no answer that will ever take the pain away from those mommies and daddies that lost an angel baby that fateful day. There is nothing but time, faith and God that can get us through this as parents, as a community, as Christians, as a nation.
With all of that said, the only thing I thought appropriate to share with you after this tragedy is the beauty of the children that light up my life.
They really are the ONLY thing that matters in my life.
THEY are what I live for each and every day.
My most handsome son on his Christmas program night. His usual dress-up clothes are a nice button up shirt, his best wranglers, spiffed up boots and a belt. This year he said, “Mom… I really want to wear a tie this year to my program.” My heart just melted. The next day I was on the hunt for a tie, dress pants and a new shirt. I was so proud of him.
She wants to be so big, so bad.
Not yet, my sweet girl. Give your momma some time.
Last week I got to make an unexpected trip to watch Cade wrestle out of town. He only go to wrestle this one match, but he WON and made us proud! It made the long trip so worth it.
Silly girl. The Pullups go on your bottom not your head. I’m not sure the facination with wearing them this way, but it’s been going on for days.
And then there’s her fearlessness. I so admire this in her. We’re thinking she may be a future trick rider. The part I couldn’t get a picture of was the precise butt drop onto Pinkie’s back and the beaming smile she shoots back at us because she’s SO proud of herself.
Yesterday marked Cade’s FIFTEENTH birthday!!! I can’t believe it! To think he was Tucker’s age when we became a family absolutely blows my mind. He’s gone from one of the orneriest little boys who managed to find mischief in most everything he did to a kind-hearted teenager with a pretty solid head on his shoulders. (Oh…he’s still ornery… he’s his daddy’s boy for sure.) We were blessed to celebrate him with family over the weekend.
…and this. There are no words. This is my heart. This is my life.
…and nothing else matters.
Peace, love and the important things.