I ate the cake.
I ate the delicious, frosting covered, moist, indulgent white wedding cake. I enjoyed every single morsel of it. …and I don’t feel guilty.
Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to eat the cake. The food was an over-the-top version of every comfort food a Southern girl would love, juicy pulled pork, creamy, uber cheesy macaroni and cheese, potato salad, green beans with bacon and onions, baked beans and coleslaw. I ate a lot of it, an embarrassing amount of it. …and I don’t feel guilty.
I was accountable all week, knowing I had this event coming up. Although I didn’t know how MUCH I would indulge that night, I knew that Saturday’s breakfast and lunch would be light and Sunday’s food choices would be CLEAN.
Making the decision to eat the cake was last minute. I was more worried that I would find myself craving the sugar again the next day. Surprisingly, I didn’t. Well…. I didn’t crave it any more than I have been over the last 13 days. I’m make progress and getting over that insane craving hump.
I AM conquering this addiction!
Now, for something that makes me REALLY uncomfortable…
I am a girl that is RARELY seen without makeup. It’s just one of those things about me. I don’t feel “complete” without it. I don’t feel presentable to the world and I am NOT comfortable going out of my house without it. In fact, I put it on regardless of what the day may bring…going out and about or staying in.
I’m not sure where this feeling or notion came from. I certainly wasn’t raised that way. In fact, my mom made me wait an insane length of time before she’d let me start painting myself with the “war paint”, as my dad would say.
Regardless, it’s a crutch and probably not a good one. So, yesterday, I MADE myself go makeup free. I wasn’t leaving the house for anything. I didn’t need to get made up for anyone, right? Several times I found myself walking into the bathroom, cringing at the sight of my undone face and WANTING to reach for the makeup bag. But…like the sugar, I made myself stop.
I try to teach my Monkey that she is BEAUTIFUL exactly as God made her. I don’t want her to think her beauty, or any woman’s beauty, is determined by how well she can apply blush and eye shadow. I don’t even believe that. Honestly, I don’t. Some of the women I deem the MOST beautiful don’t wear a stitch of the stuff. So, this is just something within myself about MYSELF that I need to work on.
What better way to crush this fear than share with EVERYONE my naked face. I was inspired by a dear friend who put her naked face out there on Instagram for everyone to see. …and she was BEAUTIFUL!
So, I should do the same thing, right?
Here goes nothing!
As much as this puts a pit in my stomach it’s somewhat liberating.
Comfort zone BLASTED.
Peace, love and breaking boundaries!!!