Not Sure I’m Cut Out For This

When Grady and I decided that we would go great guns and accept this job opportunity  I knew there would be BIG changes in store for me.  We knew we were moving to a REALLY rural and REALLY small community, even more so than the already small hometown we were leaving.

When crunching numbers, in the beginning, we were trying to decide if a job outside of the home would be feasible for me or not.  We were faced with a greater commute and finding daycare for Ella.  After more talks with the ranch management, I was given the option to work on the ranch, as well.  This was PERFECT!  We wouldn’t need to find daycare for Monkey.  She could go with us!  I wouldn’t have to commute!  I could work part-time as needed and still take care of things at home.

So, how does someone who has ALWAYS held a full-time job and a busy schedule transition to being a stay at home mom/ranch hand?  I could lie to you and tell you that it was easy and wonderful, but that just isn’t the case.  I was so accustomed to a set schedule, and a really FULL one, at that.  Get up, get kids ready and delivered to their destinations (school or daycare), go to work 8 to 5, come home, fix dinner and take care of the usual home stuff, cleaning, laundry, homework, bathes and on and on and on.

When we moved I wasn’t really sure what my daily schedule would look like.  I was now in charge of all the mowing/weed eating upkeep on the ranch along with other maintenance type jobs, i.e. fence painting.  …and there’s a TON of both!!!!  I would also be needed for any gathering/working of cattle.  I was SO excited for this!  I love outdoor work.

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I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ranch work.  So, what was I going to do with the rest of my time?

Tucker goes to school Monday through Thursday and Ella doesn’t have the preschool opportunity right now.  I love my children beyond any amount of measure imaginable.  My family is my EVERYTHING, but I have always known felt that being a stay at home mom (SAHM) was not something I was cut out to do.  I’ve always enjoyed working outside of the home.  It’s the only thing I’ve ever really known.  So, how was I going to successfully transition to this new role?  How were we (Monkey and I) going to fill our time together without boredom, frustration and disaster?  I was, honestly, worried.

The truth is that the first month and a half weren’t easy.  Monkey DID get bored.  She was SO used to playing with her friends at daycare.  Now it was just us and this wide open space.  I felt frustrated with what I thought was all this “extra” time on my hands.  I felt guilty.  Guilty that she didn’t have friends close to play with.  She would ask daily when we were going back to our old house.  I felt guilty for not having something to fill 100% of my time while my husband was working all day, every day.

As the days, weeks and eventually, months passed I realized that the house and Monkey were my new job.  I was able to figure out that keeping my house in order, maintaining the kids on a regular schedule, helping Grady with new ranch record keeping, staying up on our own personal books and maintaining my responsibilities at the ranch were enough to fill my days.

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Some days certainly wear her out!!!

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So, what made me realize these things?  I finally figured out that I didn’t need to have that constant chaotic stressed out feeling to know that my day had been productive or full.  I CAN feel relaxed, calm and at ease AND be highly productive.  Actually…. I’m MORE productive in this new environment.  My home is the way I like it.  I’m able to stay on top of things that I was struggling with before.  I look forward to my time working each day.  Monkey is content and HAPPY with her new lifestyle.  Tucker is excelling at school.  …and my marriage has benefited greatly!!!  All because I’ve figured out balance.

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We definitely have tough days.  There are certainly days that I just want to throw in the towel.  But on average, MOST days are full of laughter, adventure and goodness.

Life is good.

And I’ve realized that I AM cut out for this stay at home mom thing.  It’s a pretty alright job.

Peace, love and HAPPINESS!!!!!

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2 thoughts on “Not Sure I’m Cut Out For This

  1. GrandPaul and I are both impressed with your analysis of your lifestyle. This is my life as I was growing up. My parents were my source of social interaction and I spent long days on a horse helping on the Drummond ranch during war years when young cowboys left the ranch to serve their country. I feel blessed that this was my life. Ella will learn to entertain herself and be independent as she grows in this new atmosphere. Congratulations to each of the Gibb family. Thank goodness we never stop growing. With much love and understanding, Grandma.

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